Tuesday, 20 August 2013
We are now in that month in which everyone assured us 'things' would get better.
Better is subjective.
Feeding is easier but it also has a new angle now that Pruin is aware of the world and wants to see it all, even while feeding.
Sleeping is quieter but still unpredictable and nap training is even harder with three months of sleep deprivation under one's belt. We are actively encouraging 'bad' habits just so we can all get a bit of sleep.
Additionally, now he wants to play and mummy isn't great at entertaining when it doesn't involve cocktail shakers and amusing anecdotes.
The books say mummy should be fully healed and recovered from the delivery and resuming moderate exercise.
Who are these people writing these books?
At three months it still hasn't sunk in that we are parents to this little person. We are responsible for keeping him fed and dry and happy. No one is coming to tell us we have done enough and done well, they'll take over from here and we can go back to our previously scheduled life.
Simultaneously, I am acutely aware that his sleeping and eating habits rest solely on my shoulders. Teaching him to eat and nap 'properly' is all on me. No matter how supportive and involved Pete is (and he is both) in these first months it's mummy who sets the tone and schedule for the day. It's mummy who enforces (or, more likely, gives in) and decides which battles are worth fighting and which are worth leaving for another month.
Is it the worst thing in the world to feed him into his morning nap or lay down with him for his late afternoon nap? These are some of the 'bad' habits I am encouraging but at this point I'm just happy if we get some sleep that doesn't involve screaming. Although we have a lot of that as well.
It doesn't get better.
It gets harder. There are more balls in the air with every passing day.
It also gets more rewarding. We are watching him become a person.
And that makes the 'failures' in sleeping and eating that much harder to accept.