Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Demon jeans

It’s another demon week, people.  Look out!! 
I can predict them now.  They curiously correspond to the those little white and green pills I take every morning to ensure we remain you and me and not ‘us three.’  But it also seems to correspond to recruitment cycles, although that could totally be in my head.  It seems that potential job listings come out en masse, I spend two weeks working on numerous versions of CVs and cover letters and then two-three weeks later when I haven’t heard anything, I am told to assume my application has not been successful.  This two-three week window always seems to fall during my demon week.  Makes it really hard to feel that it’s necessary for me to get out of bed. 
I’m going to say something horrible here, but I am seriously considering ticking the disabled box (depression is a disability, right?) as all these places guarantee an interview if you tick this box and you meet all necessary and desirable criteria.  For the last four out of five jobs, I have more than met all the necessary and desirable criteria and have not been granted an interview.  How is this fair??!!  I understand the need for the disability act and I support it, but right now, I am finding it incredibly unfair.  I know an interview doesn’t guarantee a job, but at least it is one step closer to feeling like you’re getting somewhere.  That being said, I’m pretty confident I am going to blow my first few interviews since I haven’t had one in about seven years.  But let’s burn that bridge when I come to it.
But that’s not what I was going to write about today.  I was going to go off on a rant about jeans.  On Friday, I felt confident enough to go jeans shopping.  Two hours later I was a sweaty mess and still no jeans.  I tried on every style (curvy, long & lean, straight, boot cut, mini boot cut, skinny (which really was ridiculous in the first place, but I wanted to be thorough) at the GAP, which is my usual go-to shop for jeans, and nothing.  First, all jeans are now this bizarre stretch material that has no resemblance to denim beyond the blue colour.  I don’t know who made the decision that every woman wants stretch jeans, but I am not on board.  Second, anything that fit my caboose could also serve as a rain catcher it gapes so much.  I also don’t know who decided that if you have an a** and thighs you also have a large belly.  I then went to Levi’s to try out their new ‘Curveid’ guaranteed to find jeans to fit any shape.  Except mine.  I went through all the motions of specialized measurements, ratio of waist to hip, etc. and nothing.  When we found something to theoretically fit my waist and not have my a** hang out I couldn’t get them over my massive calves.  Then we found something to fit over my calves, but my a** was swimming in them.  Seriously, the sales girl was baffled by my shape.  She claimed to never have not been able to find a size to fit anyone.  Well, lucky me. 
Perhaps jeans shopping on the eve of my demon week was not the best idea.  Now there is really no reason to get out of bed.  The weather has gone cold and windy again, and since I am not wearing jeans ever again, I'll just stay here under the duvet and wait for those phone calls that aren't coming my way. 

No comments:

Post a Comment