Yesterday was a momentous day. Although you wouldn’t know it to see my to-do list:
Laundry (darks, sheets, delicates, hand washing)
Meal list/shopping list/grocery trip
Change sheets
Put away clothes from swap
Mend bathing suit/tunic
Make biometric appointment
Clean sink
General tidy
That’s just the Housewife side of the list. I crashed at about 3pm. I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but I tend to get distracted and extra chores got done as I was passing from one item to another.
But back to the momentous day. Yesterday marked the anniversary of my move to London. Five years ago I boarded a plane high on love and convinced that everything was going to work out. It did, of course. However, looking back on it now I completely understand my parents distress. A few weeks before I flew the coop my Dad issued Pete with an order. The details are between the two of them, but the gist was this…when this goes sour, just put Ariel on a plane home.
At the time, I was incredibly offended. Now, I realize they were completely justified. Despite my 27 years of age, I was not quite a functioning adult. Yes, I had lived on my own, held down four jobs at a time, travelled to Africa, finally finished that Master’s degree but I was still leaning fairly heavily on my parents for support. I was at the end of a string of semi-screwups that always ended with me running back to my parents. I can’t imagine their fear when I told them I was moving to another country to be with a guy I had only actually seen for about eight weeks. Pete and I had been ‘together’ for a year, but we had only been in physical reach of each other for about two months after Africa.
I didn’t understand the gravity of my decision at the time. Five years later, I can’t believe I made such a leap with no safety net. I had no job, no school placement, no place to live. I was betting on getting into one of the best Geography programs in the world. It would be an understatement to say that it was a leap of faith. It was CRAZY!!!!
But I knew something my parents didn’t, yet. Pete and I loved each other and we made each other the best versions of ourselves. We blossom in each other’s presence and influence. This leap never would have worked without our partnership.
I look back on that girl from five years ago and I wonder at her. Where did she get that confidence? After a string of screw-ups, how could she still be so confident? I am not that girl anymore, I don’t really want to be that girl anymore, but there is something about that foolish confidence that I would like a bit of again.
That girl would have balked at the Housewife of today, but she didn’t understand herself yet. I get huge satisfaction from keeping a (relatively) nice house and yummy dinner list. You live, you learn.
That to-do list? Sort of a celebration after all.
I can definitely see why your parents were a little concerned, LOL. That's quite a leap of faith. I made one of my own, but it was only a state away, not an entire country and an ocean. It's amazing and beautiful that yours worked out, though.
ReplyDeleteI moved 350 miles away to be near B (though at the time, I insisted to myself that I was *purely* moving for grad school) after knowing him about 8 weeks in person and another 4 months long distance. I'd never lived away from home (not even in undergrad), only had 1 job and had never paid any bills. Somehow, I had the foolish confidence not to question too much what would happen if we broke up and I was stuck in school in a TINY town where it'd be hard not to see each other (thankfully, that never happened). I also didn't think too hard about throwing together a hasty portfolio and interviewing for a pretty awesome grad program... it wasn't until later, when I found out how many other people they'd interviewed and how hard my classmates had worked to get in, that I realized my amazing good fortune.
"I am not that girl anymore, I don’t really want to be that girl anymore, but there is something about that foolish confidence that I would like a bit of again."
YES. Exactly this.