Tuesday 26 July 2011

Leaping


Yesterday was a momentous day.  Although you wouldn’t know it to see my to-do list:
Laundry (darks, sheets, delicates, hand washing)
Meal list/shopping list/grocery trip
Change sheets
Put away clothes from swap
Mend bathing suit/tunic
Make biometric appointment
Clean sink
General tidy

That’s just the Housewife side of the list.  I crashed at about 3pm.  I know it doesn’t sound like a lot, but I tend to get distracted and extra chores got done as I was passing from one item to another. 

But back to the momentous day.  Yesterday marked the anniversary of my move to London.  Five years ago I boarded a plane high on love and convinced that everything was going to work out.  It did, of course.  However, looking back on it now I completely understand my parents distress.  A few weeks before I flew the coop my Dad issued Pete with an order.  The details are between the two of them, but the gist was this…when this goes sour, just put Ariel on a plane home.

At the time, I was incredibly offended.  Now, I realize they were completely justified.  Despite my 27 years of age, I was not quite a functioning adult.  Yes, I had lived on my own, held down four jobs at a time, travelled to Africa, finally finished that Master’s degree but I was still leaning fairly heavily on my parents for support.  I was at the end of a string of semi-screwups that always ended with me running back to my parents.  I can’t imagine their fear when I told them I was moving to another country to be with a guy I had only actually seen for about eight weeks.  Pete and I had been ‘together’ for a year, but we had only been in physical reach of each other for about two months after Africa. 

I didn’t understand the gravity of my decision at the time.  Five years later, I can’t believe I made such a leap with no safety net.  I had no job, no school placement, no place to live.  I was betting on getting into one of the best Geography programs in the world.  It would be an understatement to say that it was a leap of faith.  It was CRAZY!!!!

But I knew something my parents didn’t, yet.  Pete and I loved each other and we made each other the best versions of ourselves.  We blossom in each other’s presence and influence.  This leap never would have worked without our partnership. 


I look back on that girl from five years ago and I wonder at her.   Where did she get that confidence?  After a string of screw-ups, how could she still be so confident?  I am not that girl anymore, I don’t really want to be that girl anymore, but there is something about that foolish confidence that I would like a bit of again. 

That girl would have balked at the Housewife of today, but she didn’t understand herself yet.  I get huge satisfaction from keeping a (relatively) nice house and yummy dinner list.  You live, you learn.


That to-do list?  Sort of a celebration after all. 

1 comment:

  1. I can definitely see why your parents were a little concerned, LOL. That's quite a leap of faith. I made one of my own, but it was only a state away, not an entire country and an ocean. It's amazing and beautiful that yours worked out, though.

    I moved 350 miles away to be near B (though at the time, I insisted to myself that I was *purely* moving for grad school) after knowing him about 8 weeks in person and another 4 months long distance. I'd never lived away from home (not even in undergrad), only had 1 job and had never paid any bills. Somehow, I had the foolish confidence not to question too much what would happen if we broke up and I was stuck in school in a TINY town where it'd be hard not to see each other (thankfully, that never happened). I also didn't think too hard about throwing together a hasty portfolio and interviewing for a pretty awesome grad program... it wasn't until later, when I found out how many other people they'd interviewed and how hard my classmates had worked to get in, that I realized my amazing good fortune.

    "I am not that girl anymore, I don’t really want to be that girl anymore, but there is something about that foolish confidence that I would like a bit of again."

    YES. Exactly this.

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